Explosion of mouse funtasticness

Yesterday, I was at my friend’s house, Kell, and I was working on her wireless network when I noticed something scurry past my feet along the sofa. I have to say that I got a little excited. Kell was just telling me that she thought there was another mouse in the house, but I said “I highly doubt it.” Not but two weeks ago she caught a mouse in a trap. This new mouse had tripped one trap already and escaped, so I was excited for the challenge of the hunt.

I called Kell and her roomy downstairs to help hunt the little guy/girl/chude down. The mouse was under the sofa. After about 5 minutes of it dashing quickly from one place to the next we finally got it into the open in the kitchen and I smashed it against the wall with a broom. From there we transfer the thing into a clear plastic container, and then to a double lined brown lunch sack.

There is history to the paper lunch sack. Once upon a time, not too long ago, I owned a snake (Columbian boa). Mice were its staple diet. Mice tend to bite the snake when it is squeezing the life out of the mouse, so I found a way to stun the mouse. The way was to smack the mouse against a wall while it was in a paper lunch sack. Please do not think this to be cruel, cause trust me, it’s not. Mice suck!

Anyhow, I tried this with the mouse we caught and I made the mistake of hitting the sack, with mouse inside, too hard against the wall and the mouse exploded and then exploded from the sack. One too many explosions! Blood splatted everywhere. A large drop nailed me right in the middle of my forehead and the kitchen was tainted from wall to floor.

This is pretty much what it looked like; but not a cartoon and its guts were hanging out like in the pic.

So, to make a long story short I got the wireless running and everyone lived happily ever after.

…so I dated a chude

Some of you may already know what a chude is. The definition has already been blogged on by my friend Kell in her Slanglish II bloggings. A chude is a chick that looks like a dude, in case you did not want to look that up. However, I would suggest that you visit her blog to get the history of the word also. If we work hard enough, we could find this word in the dictionary within 5 years.

The reason I mention the dating of a chude, is because there are different levels of chudedom. Some chudes are more obvious than others. One may ask, “How do I know whether I’ve dated a chude?” This is an important question, because you should know what you are doing at all times and you should always be aware of your surroundings. More important than whether you have dated a chude is, whether you are dating a chude currently. If you dig chudes, that’s cool, to each their own.

For you girls/chicks out there, don’t feel left out cause this applies to you also, just in reverse for everything said. There is not yet a word out there for dudes that look like chicks because it just makes a word I don’t want on my blog; unless we went with ducks, which is already a word with a different meaning. I’ll let others think about the new word.

Please, do not ask me whether or not I have dated a chude. This is not necessary, simply know that I have met many a chude and I have enough experience to be lecturing on the subject though I did not coin the word.

Here are three less obvious ways you can tell the girl you are dating, or have dated, is a chude:

1. You find yourself mildly more attracted to people of the same sex.

2. You find yourself competing against them as if they were a member of the same sex.

3. You find yourself to comfortable around the individual, thus doing things you normally would do only around members of the same sex (farting and such) and forgetting that it is somehow taboo. A chuckle or joke after such an occurrence is expected if the person is not a chude.

Any more obvious ways to tell can be summed up with the old quote, “If it walks like a duck (dude) and it talks like a duck (dude), it probably is a duck (chude).”

A thoughtful reminder of me

The other day, while I was practicing crane style stances and flying death kicks in meditation, I realized that I must be close to the enlightened state that I aim to achieve. I was pleased with myself and treated myself to some delicious ice cream. I reflected upon the wise words of my dear enlighten dead friend Lao Tzu, “He who knows others is wise; He who knows himself is enlightened.” Wisdom is after all an afterthought to enlightenment. I though it was a good time to test myself on, whom else but myself. Here are the questions I asked myself, with the quick answers proceeding, and you may want to do the same for yourself:

What is my favorite color? Green…wait, blonde

What is my sign? Pisces

What year was I born? In the year of the horse

How much do I weigh? Just enough

What is my favorite food? Pizza

What is my favorite pastime? Sleep

What is my favorite comic book character? Iceman

Would I rather be able to fly or be invisible? Fly

Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? Jolie

Dark of Milk? Milk

#1 or #2? Depends

What is my favorite music? Not country

No arms or no legs? No legs

Scurvy or chicken pox? Chicken pox

Pirate or superhero…

and right there is where my mind wandered to a different plane of consciousness and I was in a world of costumes and Halloween decorations. Though I may know myself relatively well, I still have no clue what I will be for Halloween. I was so close! There are like 4 Halloween parties to hit up. What are you planning to be? Got any ideas for me?

Sexy Back anytime now

I’ve been noticing a big trend with people saying that they are “bringin’ sexy back”. Be it via MySpace, random people, or friends, I’ve heard/read it way too much. When a friend tells me (as if he is some sort of “playa”), “Yo Chris, I’m bringin’ sexy back baby” something is wrong. Did I slap him? No, but in my mind I did.

Now, I understand there is a song called “SexyBack”, but I do believe that Justin Timberlake has sole responsibility to bring sexy back. So please relax and let someone who has the finances and ability to undertake such a huge feat. Anybody else will just hurt themselves. After all, I’m a little lost to where sexy even went? I thought we had plenty, if not too much sexy in the world. I’ll trust Justin though, he seems like a smart kid; After all, he dated Britney Spears:

Sorry about the scary picture kids.

Then BAM!!! It hit me like a ton of bricks…he’s bringin’ Britney back. It’s so clear to me now. How I could have overlooked this, I do not know. Justin obviously saw the sad performance by K-Fed at the Kids Choice Awards and realized that something must be done; their past relationship aside. The world has just not been the same since Britney stopped her music career. Duh!

As you can see in the lyrics of his song, he is calling out to Britney.

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Sexy Back

I'm bringing sexy(Britney) back
Them other boys don't know how to act (K-Fed has no clue what Britney needs)
I think you're special whats behind your back (Britney had a nice behind once)
So turn around and ill pick up the slack (add skill to her music)
Take em' to the bridge

Dirty babe (duh, definitely Britney)
You see these shackles (the world without Britney)
Baby I'm your slave (Justin’s offer to get Britney back)
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave (Justin will work out with her if he has to)
It's just that no one makes me feel this way (Justin remembers the good time)

Take em' to the chorus

Come here girl (Come back Britney)
Go ahead, be gone with it
Come to the back
Go ahead, be gone with it
VIP
Go ahead, be gone with it
Drinks on me
Go ahead, be gone with it
Let me see what you're tworking with
Go ahead, be gone with it
Look at those hips (An area to work on/out)
Go ahead, be gone with it
You make me smile
Go ahead, be gone with it
Go ahead child
Go ahead, be gone with it
And get your sexy on
Go ahead, be gone with it
(this whole chorus section is basically a mantra to pump-up Britney to get her feelin’ up to the task of comin’ back to the music and Justin)

Get your sexy on (do your thing Britney)
Go ahead, be gone with it (yeah! You can do it!)

Get your sexy on

I'm bringing sexy back
Them other boys don't know how to act
Come let me make up for the things you lack (Justin will help her with singin’ lessons)
Cause your burning up I gotta get it fast (Justin’ll hook it up when Brit slims down)
Take em' to the bridge

I'm bringing sexy back
Them other boys don't know how to act
If that's your girl you better watch your back (watch out K-Fed)
Cause she'll burn it up for me and that's a fact (she’s gettin’ back into show shape)

Take em' to the chorus
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Sly Justin, Sly. You gotta get up early in the morning (like 9:00 or 9:30AM) to pull one over on me. Bring back the Britney that we loved so much. I bring my epiphany to you now through this blog. Enjoy! Expect a comeback from the former star Britney Spears soon.

Startin' it off right!

So, I'm going to be honest here. Take it for what it's worth, but I like blondes. It's not that I don't like Brunettes or something. I would simply prefer a brunette to change her hair to blonde. I don't think that is too much to ask, and I'm not asking if you think it is too much to ask.

I know some of you are thinking to yourself, about dyeing hair a different color, "but those aren't really hers", or "they aren't real" (her hairs that is, don't get sidetracked). You might be right, but I don't care. I like what I like. You have to know, the "real you" does not matter. It's all about what everyone else wants you to be. Screw what you want! How selfish are you anyhow? If needs be, ask everyone else what you should do or who you should be and be quick to change the way you are now before anybody doesn't like you. Take a poll.

I'd change my hair color if my girl asked me too. You may have thought that I would not be willing to do this, but I would. I’m a giver. I would do whatever is financially feasible to change myself, so I can be just like the majority (or my girl, love ya Pookems!) would like me to be. I may take, but I give too.

Now the question comes: How should I change? Your strength of effect on my change is equal to your importance level in my life. Please feel free to change me and give me all the advice I can handle, which is all of it. Give me your input! On top of this, please feel free to talk about your general preferences for others. Some people may come here to understand what their identity should be, and you could help them understand. Remember, I like blondes!

To get you started off right, check out this Website, they will tell you what to do and I bet they are right; at least they will be close.

www.instyle.com
Frost and Tip