No weaklings here! Only masters of the mind who understand life and are on the path to true enlightenment are meant to visit this page. If you do not fall under this description, you should turn back because your weakness is not wanted. "You, Weaklings" have nothing to offer. All unweakened ones are welcome!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

A Few Fights and a Fat Lip

I don't know how to say it but to just come out and say it like it is. Some friends and I went to watch some fights in SLC last Saturday. We cheered for a friend who was fighting at light heavyweight. In the mix of the 12 exciting fights, frenzied fans cheered for their fighters and I ended up in the mix with a bloody lip. It came at me out of nowhere. It's sad that this happened and I did not even get into a proper fight to earn it. I got nailed in the mouth by a flying, free, dog tag that some dude chucked toward me. Other than that, the night was awesome!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Quotes and a Word

I love quotes! I should rephrase that, I love true and good quotes! I think I may have accidentally come up with a few of my own. I don't know whether these things have been said in the past by others, but I said them in a message to a friend today.

"Too many facts weigh down my imagination." by Chris Bills

"I always play stupid. That way, when I'm being stupid, it's just normal." Chris Bills

If you understand what these quotes really mean, because you have experienced yourself in these circumstances, then you get two stars (shurikens) from me.

Quotes are great, but words are better.

Brownp = Poop

History - My friend Ben came up with this word when he was a child. The word was used as a substitute for the word poop. He would use this word so he would not get in trouble with his parents for saying poop. This word can be used in place of many other poop related words.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Confessions of a Middle Aged Yoga King

Yeah, so maybe I'm a bit hasty in claiming my kinghood. Today was my first Yoga class. How was it? Awesome! Was it girlie? Yeah, but whatever it takes to feel young and spry again. Was it hard? I sweat my butt off and it was a relaxed beginning session. Thanks to Staci and her Yoga skills I feel like I have a new grasp on life. I had a 50 minute private lesson and I quickly went to the nearest sporting good store and got me a yoga mat. I will be practicing on my own for a short while. Dang that downward facing dog position!

Apple Tries to Copy the Macgyver Multitool

It's a sad day when Apple starts to TRY copying the Macgyver Multitool I mentioned a couple articles ago. Here it is:

The article showing this copy attempt is found here:

Friday Night Hunt

I think snakes are beautiful creatures. Many people would not agree with me. I have caught many snakes in my day, but I have never dared to catch a rattlesnake. I thought I should change that. The truth is that I have never even seen one in the wild and I want to. Along with these two things, I would like to eat rattlesnake.

The decision was made and I planned to go hunting for rattlesnake last Friday. I had one brave soul who came with me, Mary H. She was also the photographer. We searched the area surrounding Deer Creek Reservoir.

After 2.5 hours of searching we were quite tired and the sun was starting to set. Our day was done and it was rather unfruitful. We did happen to document one semi interesting thing. We found a snake skin that was slightly more than 3 feet long. It looked to be a week or so old, but it gave us hope knowing that there were snakes in them hills.

I am determined to find, catch and eat a rattlesnake, before the summer ends. Until next time.

Monday, July 30, 2007

I Want That

Swiss Army knives are a thing of the past.

We now have the macgyver-multitool. I know what you are thinking--"That looks like an ordinary paper clip." You could not be more wrong. The metal alloy used to create the multitool is secret. A paper clip would not hold up to the rigor you might need to put a real tool under.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Desperate = Bye Bye

There is nothing sadder than a desperate person. Like a caged and cornered animal ready to leap on anything getting near it, the desperato (not desperado) finds its inhuman wile and tenacity. A few months ago I had the saddest example of desperate that I have ever experienced. The story needs to be prefaced with some history.

I love Costco! I love buying in bulk. I’m a sucker for the frozen food section. This has been a more recent development. I got a coupon book in the mail and I used some coupons to save me tons of money. One of the items I purchased was a five pound bag of chicken nuggets. I thought the price was outrageously cheap and I was excited. Once I got home, I tried some nuggets. I was satisfied and thought that I would never be sick of the nuggets. I learned, after I had finished the first bag and purchased the second bag, that I was so very wrong. I tried giving the nuggets away, but everyone questioned my motives. I can not waste food, so I thought I would stick it out and finish the nuggets and simply never buy them again. As I was nearing the end of the bag those desperate pieces of chicken meat tried telling me something, but I would give the message no thought. This is the message:

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I ate the nuggets and never bought them again. I lost a lot of respect for the nuggets that day. Pathetic!

Friday, July 06, 2007

To Stink, or Not to Stink…Do I Care? (Part 2)

Stinking by your self is no big deal. I don’t want to stink, but I may not get around to showering, or I may need to run an errand before I can shower, or I figure that showering late at night is a waste of time. If you don’t understand my reasoning, I’ll give an example to compare: Would you make your bed at night knowing you are going to sleep in it again within a short time? No, cause you would be crazy insane if you wasted your time doing so. I figure, if you don’t make your bed in the morning, then it would be pointless to make it right before you go to bed. Whether I believe in “making my bed” or not is a story for another time.

I will not leave the house if I smell bad beyond a 2 foot radius around me (No one should be standing and talking to you within 2 ft of your armpits; close talkers beware). You might ask, “How can you gauge that?” Well, I’m glad you asked that question, because I am excited to tell you the answer. Skillz. I’m just that good. Others of you may need a second party to help you out. As you have a friend give you the okay, just remember that you have to gauge the stench based on the amount of time you will be out and about. Plus, on top of this you need to consider the temperature and the vigor of the activity you may be participating in. You are not just thinking about the stench radius before you leave the house, you are considering how much your stench will increase as you are in public. Anything past a 2 foot radius of stench and you become socially unacceptable. Basically, you can no longer interact with others and not offend them in an acceptable way.

Here is a graph to show the activity to time ratio. I did not have a 3D graphing program to throw in the third variable of temperature. But I guessed it to be around the figures that the red line depicts.

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Remember, it’s not bad if you don’t shower every day, is it?

To Stink, or Not to Stink…Do I Care? (Part 1)

Tomorrow I’m going back home to Cali for a few days. Before I leave, I thought I would write about a little somethin’ that relates to the previous topic.

Some days, I just don’t shower. I’m not shy about it. It's a simple fact. I don’t shower every day and it’s not because I'm trying to save water or because I hate to shower. The reason changes as does the weather.

I guess there are two questions that should be asked in order to properly understand my reasoning:

1. Do I need to shower?

2. Should I shower?

I’ll answer the questions respectively: Maybe and yes. See, I know that I should shower at least once a day. Put yourself in my shoes for a second: I work from home, most days I don’t have to leave my house, I wear deodorant and I wash my clothes regularly. Deodorant and clean clothes are key to smelling not bad. Showering is only necessary every other day if you have those two things done properly. I give you time to experience my life for a few seconds before you go on reading…

Okay start again.

If a tree falls in a forest and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound? I think you smell what I’m stepping in.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Pants: I Wear Only When I Must

Some people think it is funny that I don’t wear pants. Let me clarify, I don’t go commando and I don’t wear dresses, skirts or kilts. I choose to not wear pants when there is no need. This has been the topic of much discussion as of late, and I want to announce to all the people who DO wear pants when they don’t need to, that you are silly. Yes, I said it. I even used the word silly. I used this word because you live in a silly little world where you think you need to wear pants. There are only 2 reasons for wearing pants: 1. In social situations, it is the proper thing to do, and 2. It is cold. I guess if you are sitting in a leather or pleather seat you have another reason.

I expect to hear no more laughter over this topic, since I believe there is nothing more to explain from my end. Though I think you all have some explaining to do

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